Skydiving, Cause Mom Said So.

My mom's last words: "Love and forgive, love and forgive and DON'T be afraid to try new things!"

Last words are powerful.  They sum up an entire life of lessons learned, unlearned, victories and regrets.  They leave you wondering what words you'll be leaving with your own children.  They prompt thoughts of the life you want to live and the legacy you want to leave behind. 

I decided that all that I care that remains of me is a legacy of love and adventure.  I want my future partner and children to know what love looks and feels like.  To know their mom, wife, grandma knew how to love God and loved others like God does--ferociously and recklessly.   I also want to inspire them to be fearless.  To run into the storms of life knowing that all of heaven backs them. To travel every inch of creation discovering the riches that can't be stolen---culture, exhilaration, love for living. To risk failure by not settling for the mediocre.  I want to live outrageous adventures and document every bit of it.  I want my kids to open an old chest in the attic someday with photos of me around the world and  travel journals filled with my ramblings, revelation, discoveries...astonishments. 

I realized this year, I have been living in a posture of waiting for life to happen. Waiting for outcomes to unfold for me rather than making the outcome I desire a reality. So much life has happened to me...at me.  I'd grown accustomed to just dealing with the circumstances that had been dropped in my lap--hence life happening at me, i.e mom's cancer, crazy family circumstances, raising my nephew.  I was just surviving life not living it.   I dreamed of adventure. Had and have the wishlist for those things I wanted to happen, but I didn't take ownership of them.  I didn't know how to live.  Even in business, I tend to let it run me rather than me run it.  I filter my content knowing that clients will see whether I am working on their photos. I edit myself down to suit someone else.  I'm pretty sure that isn't living.  It's slavery.  No one's fault but my own and I am glad that I let myself out of those shackles. 

Tomorrow is the day. That ominous yet auspicious year that feels like you should really know what the heck you're doing.  The truth is kids, I don't.  I feel like a walking dichotomy of youth and age.  I have lived some intense seasons of life that make me feel about 100 years old yet I feel like life is just starting.  I choose to live out of the latter mindset.  I choose to start living intentionally and in the moment.  Life isn't in a future tense. It's now.  

So I've done some pretty cool things.  I've done some traveling, have seen a few great views from mountaintops, have been on some adrenaline filled rollercoaster rides and have met people from around the world that have shaped me for life....but skydiving......it feels like the true start to all of my future adventure and world traveling shenanigans. Why? because skydiving is a complete plummet in the face of fear and telling it to SUCK IT.  It's that moment when you get to win and feel every moment of that win.  It's SHEER joy!  

Diving out of a perfectly good plane and just free falling putting faith in a few pounds of nylon. Insane. Liberating. Exhilarating. JOY giving. Ahhhh...Skydiving.  I seriously need to write a poem about it. It's the new love of my life. Srsly. 

My sweet, amazing and badass friend, Amy decided this was the year to do something crazy too. She had her first baby (my god-niece...aka...the cutest child on the planet) and turned 30.  This was her year to give life and have a life! Side note: Ugh...she got so much flack for being a new mom and skydiving.  To you hyper critical, judging haters out there,  it's more selfish for you to drive to the store for milk than to skydive. Shove it. Stats don't lie.

We both decided to not give a frick what anyone thought and do something crazy amazing. Skydiving...duh.

Why my choice to Skydive? I was lamenting the fact that I didn't get to this age and have the things my heart really desires...my forever man.  Amazon Prime and commitment.  Not too much to ask for 40. We'll talk about dating later.  I mean...things aren't totally bleak in that arena. More on that later friends.  I digress. 

Since I didn't have the thing that I've been longing for for so long, I decided to make sure I didn't lose myself in the desire and make sure I'm friggin' living my life! Right? Can I get an Amen!? 

The stresses of being self-employed, cars breaking down, friendships gone crazy, church stuff, community, business, dating, finances, all of the things that I couldn't escape from were brewing and are still brewing.  But it was so worth it to have preplanned this event.  I made sure that a date was set and that I had someone to do it with me so that I couldn't put another thing I wanted to do on the back burner to keep the other fires at bay. Which is what I typically do. So if you're push-the-good-stuff-of-life-for-later kind of person. Stop.  Life will pass you by and you need to live NOW.  Find a friend and go have an adventure. 

Skydiving fundamentally changed Amy and I.  Seriously.  

The play by play.  

Life was so busy that I really didn't have time to overthink it.  I highly recommend not dwelling on it. Just set the date and go.  Live in denial until you drive up to the jump zone. 

I decided to distract Amy from thinking about it too much by talking about everything else but skydiving. Who are we kidding...it was for me too.  

As soon as we could see the sign for Paraclete XP, I literally just let out several huge screams in the car. Poor Amy.

My stomach was like  "holy S%^^!! Christina, what the heck are you about to do?!" So many cuss words. So many happened. So many. Lol.

We get there and I totally thought we were going to be surrounded with other nervous idiots and that we'd all be thrown into a class together for hour on learning how not to die. 

Nope, we get there, all the people look super cool and jacked on adrenaline.  We felt like two moms. Hahaha.

Amy was smart...she opted to wear the suit they provide and I decided to look like a desperate house wife in my trying-to-look-cool-for-the-camera outfit.  Girls...omg...don't do that. Those straps they put you in shift all of your clothing.  It tells on you...cause fat rolls and also made my boobs fall practically fall out of my bra. Not pretty.  You're not seeing the actual footage.  My face looks like a parachute but I also look like a fluffy, half Asian, wannabe desperate housewife.  Sigh. Amy and I laughed so hard at my footage.  In one shot...when I thought I looked cool....I actually looked like I was giving birth at 13,000 feet in the sky. True story. 

Back to the experience.

We're introduced to our sky spooning partner.  Yep ladies, if you need some affection...you get a handsome fella spooning you for a bit.  I wasn't mad at it. haha. Kidding. Maybe not. Kidding though. Srsly.  Amy's spooning dude was annoying to her.  My guy was great.  Totally made me feel comfortable and like I wasn't gonna die that day. 

We had to watch a quick video with some guy from 1985 that resembled the unibomber tell us that we signed our lives away and we'd have to be ok with it.  Then the instructors strap you in and give you about a 5 min tutorial on how it all works. That's it!  No test. No repeat of instructions. That's when I may have peed a little.  

What do you mean, I can't get Asian and ask for notes and a study guide first!? 

Whew. Breathe.

We march into the wee little plane with other crazy adrenaline junkies that knew what they were doing.  Yes, we were the only two newbs on the plane. 

They told us dad jokes (my fave) all the way up to distract us from the churning puke emerging. 

Then the doors flung open.  That's when it's hella scary.  The doors.  The doors that keep all of the safe and cozy feels inside.  Two experienced skydivers jumped out side by side looking super cool (me someday with future bae). 

Then they took us HIGHER! Us...the newbs....and at 13,500 feet they flung the doors open again. Amy was first.  Within seconds....my girl was barreling out of the plane....no time...just poof...gone.  Then my guy screamed a few things in my ear that I could barely hear and my butt went plummeting out of the plane too. 

OMG...OMG...OMG. The wind is 30 degrees colder up there than down below but you don't feel it at all...because adrenaline...omg...adrenaline.  

It's like the best moment of every roller coaster you've ever ridden all at once.  You are completely falling from the sky with no parachute open. I'm sure we somersaulted a few times...I can't remember...but it was incredible.  

Then he opens the chute and that moment....

I suddenly got choked up with joy...

Not the joy of surviving....

The sheer joy of LIVING!!  

Like...all hell maybe broken loose in my life...I might even be failing horribly, but right now, I am living.

It felt like the exhale after all of the years of just holding my breath to survive the crapstorm of life of the last couple of decades. 

It was also punching fear in the face and taking it down like a lion takes down it's prey. Maybe more like Conner MacGregor taking down his next victim...including that crazy arrogant look in his eyes.  Not being dramatic.  For me, anxiety and fear have held me back because life proved over and over again that the other shoe is always going to drop...it makes you feel powerless from time to time.  This was me getting to punch that demon in the face and killing it for good.  

It was saying YES, to life.  It was doing exactly what my mom said to do. 

I knew the very moment we landed that I was addicted.  I absolutely knew it.  I fell in love with it.  My plan is to get my license to jump solo anytime, anywhere...no spooning partner (maybe I should rethink this).

I plan on doing it as often as possible and in every place possible.  I've never been to the Grand Canyon.  It is so happening when I go. Dubai. India. Korea. California. Puerto Rico....  all of the places. 

I mean...the view. You basically get to be a human drone hyped on adrenaline and joy....all of the good feels.  Duh...addiction. 

I learned so many things about myself in one tiny adventure.  

One of them....I'm glad I haven't settled for the wrong dude.  Now I know, I could never be with a partner that sat on the sidelines or was passive in life.  I gotta have a partner that will engage in the highs. The bestie that shares at least some of the biggest passions of my life. This is definitely one of them.  

Photography, world traveler, skydiver and sharp shooter is next.  That sounds like a cool granny to me. 

Desperate Housewives: Skydiving at 40 Edition.

Amy giving Matt and my sweet Avett Rose some love.

Avett: "Aunty Christina, can you please tell mom it's gonna be cool and that I already know she's a badass?!"

Creepy unibomber dude.

                                                                             

Cause aviators.

I love her. 

                                             

Approaching and now screaming loudly in the car. 

Suited up. Amy makes the sensible option.

Meet Justin. My big spoon. Sometimes my joking gets out of hand. The poor guy had to tell me he had a girlfriend. 

That moment...all the feels. 

Celebration drinks afterward wherein we laughed hysterically at my footage. Cause there was that much of a difference. Amy looked like a badass....Christina....well...God likes me to have a sense of humor so He keeps me humble.  I looked like I was terrified to give birth in the sky with my boobs falling out and we couldn't tell if my face as actually the parachute or not. 

Asian kids need certificates. I'm Special. 

Feeling my swag. 

Feeling my swag again....wishing I had worn this instead of the other. Sigh.

GO SKYDIVING. IT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE!!

"The wicked flee when no one pursues them,
But the righteous are as bold as a lion."

Proverbs 28:1